Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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