Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
