her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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