those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
