Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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