Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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