Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
