The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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