where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
