He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
