Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
