I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
