At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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