Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize