Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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