they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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