may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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