Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
