HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize