Sry I called you an 8
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
