woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
