there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
