I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
whose parrot is this?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
