Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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