Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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