Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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