who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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