It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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