all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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