Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
