Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
