Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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