Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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