id be glad to
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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