Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
