I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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