So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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