I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
as a side note pls kill me
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
