There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
