5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
