So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
