susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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