I think my vagina is haunted
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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