Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
