Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize