We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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