almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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