I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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