It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
