he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
