before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
