i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
