you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
