you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
only you would photoshop your dick
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize