well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
