So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize