I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
