Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
