That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The power of my boobs compel you
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
