I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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