Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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