I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
