people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
