You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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