I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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