I am puke
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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