I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
