So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
