I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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