"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
