Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
