so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
