I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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