Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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