Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
