if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My bed is full of blood and feathers
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
