Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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